Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Moms

I have all the respect in the world for moms.  I do want to say though that I really dislike the negative assumptions people have about moms that stay at home and about moms that choose to work.  I know a few stay at home moms who go through a huge guilt trip when they decide to stay at home.  They feel guilty about staying home with their babies when they could be contributing financially if they had a job.  Many went to college and are afraid that they wasted money on college since they are not using their degree.  They feel like they are putting their families in a financial bind by choosing to stay at home, rather than to work and help contribute financially.  On the other hand, you have moms who are working moms.  They feel guilty about spending time away from the baby.  I've heard a lot of negative things from people on both sides of the issue, and I want to help clear the air.  Stay at home moms ARE working moms.  Taking care of a baby 24/7 is hard work.  People who have not actually done this do not understand the work and responsibility that goes into taking care of an infant.  By living on a smaller budget, you are hopefully teaching your child as they grow that money is not everything.  Moms that choose to work love their babies JUST as much as moms that choose to stay home.  They do not love work more than their child.  Moms that work are hopefully doing so to help save money for their children's college and teaching their children the importance of having a hard work ethic.  As for myself, I chose to continue working.  Going back to work the first day was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I chose to go back to work for a few different reasons.  I prayed about it, and I felt as though my job as a teacher is important.  I love teaching.  It's one of my passions.  I love my baby.  I felt like I could do both well.  I also wanted to continue to save money.  I feel good about being able to consistently put money in savings.  Part of that money will be for Adia's education.  I also plan on having more than one child.  I want to save money now, so that when I have another baby, I could possibly be in a better position to stay home from work at that time with both of my kids.  Once they are in school, I could go back to teaching as well.  When I pick up my baby from the sitter (who loves her dearly), I take her home and love on her all evening long.  She knows that I am her mommy and she and I have a bond that we could never have with anyone else.  My decision to continue working did not negatively impact the bond that I have with my child.  It grows stronger every day.

Moms that are struggling with this issue, please know that God will guide you in the path that is best for you and your family.  He will give you peace with your decision.  Moms that choose to work love their babies just as much as moms who choose to stay home.  Moms who stay home contribute to their families just as much as working moms.  My advice is to follow the Lord and He will guide your heart.  Don't listen to the critics out there and just know in your heart what is best for you and your family.  This working mom needs to hop in the shower and then catch some z's!  Goodnight, mommas and babes!

2 comments:

  1. most of the people I have met that have assumptions about working in the home vs working out of the home moms, are people who don't have children. once your are a mom you kinda get it that ALL moms work and that it is childish to compare the two.

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  2. I'm sorry I'm just seeing this because it is a subject that has been heavy on my heart. I agree with you a 110%. All moms are working moms. Having tried both, I know that one option is not easier than the other and you feel guilty either way. When I went back to work, I was heartbroken to leave my daughter. Now that I've made the decision to be home, I worry about the financial burden I've placed on my husband's shoulders. I honestly feel like I've traded a full-time job away from home for 3 full-times jobs at home (between freelance writing, running a Mary business and a daycare, haha!) There are days when I wonder if being away from her for 40 hours would have been better because she would have clear-cut "momma" time without distractions. Either way, there is guilt because we all want to do what is best! Anyway, sorry to rant but just wanted to say I'm there with you. I wish moms would be more supportive of each other rather than being judgmental!

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