Toddler Struggles

Isla has a big green knot on her forehead.  This is nothing alarming, considering the stuff she gets herself into.  Sometimes, I watch the stunts she tries to pull and I immediately see stitches, casts, and long waits in the ER in our future.  On the other hand, I wouldn't change her for the world.  I love her curious spirit and her ability to shake things off better than most anyone else I've ever met.  She's tough and daring, but she loves to laugh so hard that she snorts and loses her breath.  She loves to be held (for 5 seconds at a time) but runs to me multiple times per day to hug me, as if to say, "I know I scare you all the time, but it's not because I don't love you, Mommy." 

She didn't want me to drop her off at the baby-sitter's house today.  I tried to put her down and she held onto me with all of her might.  As the baby-sitter was trying to peel her off of me (as if I was a hard boiled egg and Isla was the stubborn shell), Isla got mad and took her little fingers and pinched me so hard on the back of my arm that it broke the skin.  It alarmed me and I kind of screamed a little.  The baby-sitter just kind of laughed and said, "That's Isla.  She's a character."

Isla loves to give hugs, be held, and most importantly, entertain us.  She finds comfort in my arms when she is scared, sad, or hurt.  However, she does NOT like to give kisses.  Of course, we kiss all over her all the time.  If we ask her for a kiss though, she shakes her head no or hits us in the face, batting our puckered lips away.  Recently, my sister-in-law came to visit.  She is not one who is especially affectionate either.  However, when she was about to leave, she asked Isla for a kiss.  I believe she thought Isla would do her usual slap in the face or shake her head no.  However, this time was different.  When Alyssa puckered her lips and leaned in, Isla enveloped Alyssa's lips with her own lips and sucked, giving her a huge, sloppy, wet kiss.  When I tried to kiss her a few days ago, she actually puckered and I thought, "Oh, wow...  I wish I had my camera out because she's actually going to kiss me!"  Wrong.  As I got closer, she bit down on my lips, then laughed so hard that she snorted.

One of our struggles with Adia is sharing.  I posted a video on facebook a while ago where she and I were having a discussion about which book we were going to read.  She wanted to read one book while I said that I wanted to read a different book.  I've been creating these little teachable moments with her on purpose.  I am a teacher and I know how great it is to have kids in my class who have been taught how to share and be considerate of others.  My kids are my world, but they don't rule my world and they shouldn't rule anyone else's either.  We've noticed that Adia tends to be a bit bossy with Isla and even tries to tell Isla what she does and does not want.  For example, Isla may be playing with a toy that Adia wants.  Adia either grabs the toy out of Isla's hands, which sometimes causes Isla to cry and get upset, whines and cries because she sees Isla playing with a toy she wants, or tries to manipulate her by walking up to Isla and saying, "Isla, you don't wanna play with dat toy.  Dat toy is bad for you."  She is hoping that Isla will then drop the toy so that Adia can play with it.  I'm starting to see Adia come around a little more and I really think our little lessons and consistency are paying off. In the video I posted, Adia told me "No" about 20 times.  I didn't give in though and I very nicely and gently suggested another option.  She finally let me read the book that I wanted to read.  We are still hearing a lot of "no," but we've finally gotten around to her being compliant too and learning how to reason with us.

Although Adia can have a hard time sharing, I am glad that she knows what she wants.  I'm even glad that she's stubborn (to an extent.)  I was (am)  so stubborn as a child (adult).  Although my mom and I battled it out a few times because she was as stubborn as I was, my stubbornness paid off some too.  I knew what I wanted and I wasn't stopping until I got it.  If you want the right things and you are too stubborn to give up, then that isn't always a bad thing.  Don't get me wrong - there is definitely something wrong with being too stubborn, but there are some perks too.  I want to help guide Adia in the right direction, but I want her to stay strong too.